


Jigai Boy

by byebyebabyblue



Category: Original Work
Genre: Blood, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Brother-Sister Relationships, Bruises, Cutting, F/M, Family, Family Issues, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Injury, Injury Recovery, M/M, Major Character Injury, Masturbation, Masturbation Interruptus, Masturbation in Bathroom, Non-Consensual Violence, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Non-Graphic Violence, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, References to Depression, Self-Harm, Sick Character, Sickfic, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Threats of Violence, Underage Masturbation, Underage Rape/Non-con, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:42:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22980430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/byebyebabyblue/pseuds/byebyebabyblue
Summary: This is a story about a 17 year old shut-in/highschool boy who wants to commit suicide, but can't decide if he actually wants to die or not. He has a shitty family and the only one who really likes him is his sister. He is bullied at school. He has no real plan other than to end his life by jumping off a bridge in the hope that it will be enough to end him.
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

I am a 17 year old shut-in/highschool boy who wants to commit suicide, but can't decide if I want to die or not. I currently live with my parents and i'm bullied at school. I have no real plan other than to end my life by jumping off a bridge in the hope that it will be enough to end me. 

What do I do?: • Write a letter to someone?

  


I write a letter to my sister saying how much I love her and how I don't want anything bad to happen to her. She doesn't answer back, she just leaves the room.

  


I go into my room and cut myself in the neck. It hurts like hell, but I manage to pull it off without dying. I then vomit blood all over myself before collapsing onto my bed sobbing uncontrollably.

  


I cut my arm as well, but this time I manage to keep it together long enough to throw up some more blood on myself. This is followed by vomiting blood again. Finally I collapse onto the floor crying hysterically.

  


I put some gauze on my wound and try to stay calm. I think about what I should do next. The first thing I could do is call the police, but if they come here they might not be able to save me since there aren't any hospitals near where I live.

  


I take some sleeping pills and try to sleep for a while. When I wake up I feel really tired, but I still feel like I want to die.

  


I take some Prozac (Zoloft) which makes me feel a lot better. I'm able to fall asleep and when I wake up I actually feel like I want to live!

  


I take some Xanax (Valium) which makes me feel even worse. I'm now feeling suicidal and I feel like killing myself right now. Well, that was fun wasn't it? Well I guess I'll see how this ends up...

"..."

I decide to change my mind and I decide to kill myself anyway. The only problem is that I didn't know what drugs I took or how many of them, so I was pretty high when I did it.

  


I end up cutting myself open with a knife and bleeding out everywhere. My mom comes home from work and finds me lying naked on the bathroom floor. She freaks out and screams at me, but eventually calms down after seeing my dad who comes running in.

  


I put some bandages on my wounds and tell her to get an ambulance. After taking care of business at the hospital, I leave with my mom. After driving around aimlessly for awhile, I finally find a place to stay: A motel called "The Blue Room".

  


As soon as I enter the room, I realize that it's way too clean. It reminds me of my childhood house. I also notice that there are no windows in this room. There must be a reason why nobody has checked in recently, because there are no signs of life anywhere else either.

  


I go into the bedroom and turn off all the lights. As I lie there watching a scary movie, I suddenly hear loud noises outside. Then someone knocks on the door. "Who's there?" "It's me, its me!" I answer back in a scared voice.

  


I turn off the lights and lock the door. "I'm sorry, I just can't let anyone in here."

  


I walk towards the front door. Suddenly I hear someone calling my name. I turn around and see a man dressed in black clothes standing in front of me holding a gun to my head.

"AHH!"

I scream out in terror and panic. "What the hell do you want?" He asks. "Please don't shoot me! I've done nothing wrong!" I plead. "No, you haven't! But if you keep acting like this, then yes, I will!"

  


I quickly run out of the room. I'm not sure where I should go next, but I need to find somewhere safe.


	2. Chapter 2

Later...

My mother calls me and tells me to come home right now. I call her a liar and hang up on her.

I call a girl named "Lilith" (She doesn't even know I'm gay) and she agrees to meet me at the Blue Room. When I arrive, Lilith is very nice to me.

"H-Hi Lilith..."

I say "Hi Lilith" and kiss her. Later that night, I have a nightmare about being killed by my father. The dream ends when Lilith comes to my room and tells me to calm down. She says that dreams are common after all, so don't worry about it.

I go to the bathroom and take a cold bath. Afterward, I feel refreshed.

Later...

I wake up with a start. Lilith is still sitting beside me, but she looks very sad. She seems to be crying over something.

I ask "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

Lilith answers "My dad is going to kill me."

"Oh no!" I cry out.

I call 911 and tell them what happened. They immediately send an officer to investigate. Eventually they get there and find my dad lying dead on the floor.

It turns out he was murdered by his own son. My mom is also found dead nearby. I never saw her again.

Aftermath:

The police did their job and brought justice to my dad's killer.

He was executed shortly afterwards.

As for me, I was taken in by my aunt who lived in the same town as my parents' house. Her name is Julie and she took care of me ever since.

Julie has been kind to me ever since. In fact, she's become like a mother figure to me. I've grown close to her and she's always looked out for me whenever possible.

I decide to cut myself up a bit more than usual. It doesn't really hurt too much, but it does make me feel better.

Eventually I stop cutting yourself and just live with the pain. Eventually my life gets back to normal again.

I decide that I'm not going to let this happen again. So I bruise myself a little to cope.

A few days later, I hear some noise outside. I look out the window and see my sister Julie being beaten by my uncle.

I freeze in fear when I see my sister getting beat up. I don't know why, but something about seeing my sister get beaten makes me feel sick inside.

My uncle then proceeds to hit Julie even harder than before.

I stare at my sister and watch her get beaten. I can't help but cry watching it all unfold.

I vomit all over myself and cover myself in blood. I feel so horrible after doing such a thing.

Later on, my uncle comes home from work, drunk and sees me covered in blood and vomiting everywhere.

My uncle undresses me and stares at my naked body. He immediately starts having sexual relations with me.

Afterwards he rapes me and leaves me laying there completely nude. The next day, my aunt comes to take care of me.

I call your uncle who is very angry at me for calling him a pervert. He tells me to go die in hell.

I decide to go through with my plan of hurting myself. I find a sharp object nearby and start stabbing myself in various places. After awhile, I realize that this isn't working as well as I thought it would.

So I try something else...

I do it again! This time I stab myself in the stomach instead. It hurts like hell, but it's better than bleeding to death.


	3. Chapter 3

The next day, my uncle comes home and sees me covered in blood and crying hysterically.

He doesn't say anything though; he just goes into his room and closes the door.

He comes back out later on and says "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you." He reeks of alcohol and is obviously drunk. My uncle then takes off his clothes and lies down on top of me while continuing to sob.

"..."

"I don't want to talk about it anymore," I say.  
"Well, if you're not going to listen, I guess we'll never have any sort of relationship."  
"Shut up!" I scream.

"Okay, okay, calm down. I get it. We're still a family."  
"NO! NO! No more!" I shout as loud as I can.  
My uncle looks at me and smiles before putting his hands around my throat and choking the life out of me.

I grab my uncle by the collar and kick him in the face. His nose breaks instantly and he falls backwards onto his butt. I laugh maniacally for a moment before collapsing on the floor.

I feel so sick. I look up and see my aunt standing over me. She notices how much blood I've already lost and she begins to cry.

"What are you doing?" She asks.

"Nothing..." I walk to the bathroom.

I sit down on the toilet seat and begin bandaging my wounds. I take some painkillers from the medicine cabinet and lay them out in an attempt to ease my suffering.

A few hours pass and I hear a knock on the door.

I open the door and see my uncle standing there. He has a big grin on his face.

"Hey, I was wondering when you'd come back." He says.  
"Get away from me you rapist!" I shout

I rush forward with my foot and slam it against his head. He falls backward onto the ground and I continue kicking him in the face until he stops moving completely.

I lie down on the bed and take some Xanax. It helps somewhat but I still feel like I'm dying.

It feels like forever before someone finally arrives to check on me.

After taking some time to relax, I decide that it would probably be best if I did something sexual. I go into the bathroom and start rubbing myself while thinking about what I should do next.

Suddenly, my uncle comes in the room.  
"Ahh! Get out!" I turn around and yell at my uncle who is walking towards me.

"Get out of my house right now!" I scream.

He walks past me and then turns back around to stare at me.

I push my uncle as hard as I can. The man goes flying backwards and hits the wall behind him. I stand up and watch him hit the wall.

"I'll kill you!" He shouts angrily.

"No, I'm going to kill myself." I answer calmly.

I lock myself in the bathroom and begin cutting my wrists. I don't want to leave any evidence of this crime.

I drink some water and try to calm myself down. I realize that I need to get help soon or else I'm going to die here.

I dial 911 and wait for the operator to connect me.

"911, what is your emergency?" The Operator asks.

"I...Um...I need help...My wrist is slit..."

The Operator hangs up on me immediately after I finish speaking.

I sit there feeling very depressed and alone.

I quickly put on a pair of gloves and bandages my wounds. I look at them and wonder how I could have done such a thing.

Then I remember that I have been having suicidal thoughts lately so maybe it was just a case of getting over it.

I cry for awhile before finally falling asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

I awaken from a dream about being chased by demons. I run out of the house screaming and yelling for help. I run into the woods where I find that I've lost my way.

I cough as I stumble around looking for my bearings. I eventually come across a small stream and plunge into it. It's cold and refreshing. I feel better already.

I lie in the cool water and let my mind wander. I think back to when I first got here and realized that this place wasn't real. Now that I've gotten used to things, I can even enjoy myself without worrying about whether or not they're real anymore.

I walk along the path home. There are no other people around but I still feel safe enough walking through the forest. I continue to walk until I reach my front door.

I laugh about what I experienced this day. Walk into my room and then fall asleep.

I awake with a start. The sun is shining brightly outside and the sky is clear blue. I notice that there's another person sleeping in my bed.

I look at the man lying on my bed and immediately freak out. He looks like he's been dead for days now. I quickly get dressed and head downstairs.

I calm down and remember what happened yesterday. I don't know how long I were out for, but I woke up again in the same spot...I think. I didn't really have any memory of anything before that though so it was all a bit hazy.

I go to my room and take a quick shower. When I'm done, I realize that I forgot something important in my bag. I open it up and find a piece of paper with some numbers written on it.

The numbers seem familiar...

I drink some water and read the note. They're from a friend of mine who lives in a different town than me. She says she wants to meet up with me soon and asks if I want to come along.

I call my sister and tell her that I'll be meeting up with her later today. My sister seems pretty excited too. She tells me that she doesn't usually talk to many people, but she'd love to hang out with someone new!

I go to my sister's house and knock on the door. It opens a little while later and I enter.

"Hi!" I say happily as we hug each other. "I've missed you."

My sister smiles back at me and hugs me back.

"Um...Why did our uncle beat you?"

My sister blushes slightly when she hears this question. "Oh... um..." She replies nervously.

"He said he wanted me to help him move things around in his basement." She explain.

I get a pounding headache just from thinking of my uncle and I get visibly upset.

My sister's face turns pale. "Oh my god! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make you upset!" She says quickly.

"I-I know it's a sensitive topic...."

She runs off to her room embarrassed by what she just did and slams the door shut behind her.

I go home and start treating my headache. A few hours pass and I feel better. I then decide to check on my sister.

When I try calling her number, nothing happens.

I fall asleep feeling much better. I wake up early in the morning and go to class. The rest of the day goes by without incident.

But I feel like I've forgot something...


End file.
